It’s my joy

Now, having worked at Chick-fil-a for a little bit, this phrase sounds oddly similar to “It’s my pleasure.” And while I know that you all hope this blog was about my time working there, sadly, it is not. Haha. Instead, this is about how the Lord has been teaching me to step into the gifts he’s given me with joy. Recently, I was reading John 3, a very popular chapter, but what stood out to me were verses 27-30 which say  “To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.” John’s disciples wanted him to become greater, to not let Jesus become the one in the spotlight. But John knew that his gift was what the Lord had called him to do. And because he knew that and was also secure in his identity with the Lord, he did not feel the need to strive and look incredible to others, but was able to step away when he knew that his job was done. And he was able to do it with joy! And that just blows me away! He waited and waited for Jesus to come, prepared the way for him, but in the end it didn’t come to much and he slid back into the background. Oftentimes, that isn’t my attitude. Especially before coming on the race, I found myself striving often to do things that the Lord didn’t gift me with. For example, speaking on a stage is not for me, but I still found myself on the stage and always nervous, speaking fast and not finding any joy in it. And the only reason I would do it was because of the way that I looked to others. But as I’ve been on the race, the Lord has continued to show me the areas He’s gifted me in, the ways he has blessed me. And one of those areas is managing both money and time and being very logical in my thinking. But that’s not the gift I want. I’m like a kid who gets something they wanted for Christmas, but the day before Christmas, has set their mind on wanting something else. I want the gifts, just not the one I have. I want to be super relational and want everyone to like me, remember me, and relate to me well. Now, I’m not saying that I can’t build relationships and have friends, but that’s not my forte. One of my teammates does have this gift. Everywhere we go, the kids love her and always remember her name. And this honestly makes me kinda jealous. I wanted to be like her. And still do want to be like her because she’s awesome. And so I found myself striving to be relational, and not wanting to be logical in the way I think anymore. Because I didn’t want the gift the Lord has blessed me with, I didn’t find much joy in doing the treasury work, meal planning, or making sure we were on time. Doing these things is part of my role on the team, which our leaders prayed into at the beginning of the race. But my whole life I’ve been the treasurer, the logical one and I just didn’t want to be that anymore. But as I read John 3, it made me realize how much I am neglecting this gift the Lord has given me that I can serve others with. And so this brought me to 1 Corinthians 12 which talks about the body of the church. Verses 14-24 say  “Indeed, the body is not one part but many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I’m not a hand, I don’t belong to the body,’ it is not for that reason any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I’m not an eye, I don’t belong to the body,’ it is not for that reason any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God has arranged each one of the parts in the body just as he wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ Or again, the head can’t say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary, those parts of the body that are weaker are indispensable. And those parts of the body that we consider less honorable, we clothe these with greater honor, and our unrespectable parts are treated with greater respect, which our respectable parts do not need.” We are all needed in the body. And I am learning to step into the role the Lord has given me and not be envious of the more evident and appealing gifts, but rather focused on the gifts the Lord has blessed me with. And this has allowed me to walk in more joy, and use my gifts to bring glory to God and not myself. And it is so much better when all the glory is for the Lord and not myself anyways, He’s the one who has blessed me and deserves all the glory. 

I officially only have 3.5 months left on the race, which is crazy, and time seems to be flying by, but also going so slowly at the same time. The comforts of home are beginning to seem more and more appealing. But time here has also been great and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.