His Kindness leads to repentance

What a crazy past two weeks full of ministry and fun! One of the big things that the Lord has been sharing with me in ministry the past two weeks is the passion I have for young women knowing how valued they are in the eyes of the Lord. There is lots of pressure on young women to get married and have kids young here, and many people put value in a woman based on if she has a kid or not. This breaks my heart because that is not how the Lord intended for us to find our value, nor is it how the Lord designed family to be. At one of our house visits this past week, there was a family with three teenage girls. And when we asked them what they like to do in their free time, they responded that they spend time on their phones. And this broke my heart. There women are not only getting pressured from those around them, but then they go to their phones and feel even more pressure to be a certain way and do certain things to be valued. Knowing how much comparison can hinder self-esteem and self image, I felt the spirit prompting me to share with these girls how their value should not be found in what others say of them or how well they measure up to the standers they see online. I encouraged them to spend less time on their phone, separating themselves from the constant intake of other’s perfect lives. I also encouraged them to spend less time on phones because of how easy it is to find comfort in not having to face the emotions we have while on our phone. I know personally how easy it is to go back to instagram and scroll and suppress how I’m feeling. But in the end, it just leaves me feeling more empty and alone. But when we bring our emotions before the Lord, He is able to sit with us in those emotions and also give us the strength to move past the emotions and remember that He is over it all. And rather than putting our value in how well me measure up or what others think of us, we are able to recognize that our value comes from the Lord and He paid the highest price for us and we are priceless to Him. It doesn’t matter if I look the right way or have a kid or a boyfriend or perform a certain way, I am priceless to the Lord and He determines my value. 

During the past two weeks, the Lord has been speaking to me a lot through the Psalms. Recently I read Psalm 32, and verses 3-5 say, “When I kept silent, my bones water away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgression to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” As I continue to grow closer to the Lord, I am realizing how much sin I have and how much I really need the Lord. One of the things I really struggle with is judging others and letting one negative aspect of a person determine how I view them and block my view of all the good things that they are as well. And I really don’t like it. I want to be able to see people the way that the Lord sees them, but for some reason, I just can’t. In my own strength, I can’t get rid of this sin that makes me feel so shameful. But the other morning, I brought this judgment before the Lord and asked for forgiveness. No longer do I want to try to muster up in my own strength the ability to love others without judgment, because I will never be able to do that. But I want to depend on the Lord and lean on His strength to change me. And just as it says in Psalm 32, I felt a weight lifted off and the Lord forgave me! I don’t know why there is such a fear in going before the Lord in confession. I get so scared to tell the Lord what I’m struggling with, but He already knows and desires for me to come before Him, not so He can condemn me, but so that our relationship can be restored and I can continue to grow nearer to the Lord. Romans 2:4 says that the God’s kindness is intended to lead us to repentance”! How beautiful it is that the Lord is kind enough to lead us to repentance! Kind enough to show us that ways that we need Him, the ways that we are not living in the full abundance of what He has for us. 

I know this is a shift in gears, but now I’m going to give a rundown of what a typical ministry day in Nicaragua looks like and also describe what all our ministries are.

5-7- Prayer and devotion time

8-9- Breakfast

9-12- Morning ministry

12-1- Lunch

1-4- Afternoon Ministry

4-5- Team Time

5-6- dinner

6-8:30- Free time/worship/micro-chruch/squad activity

Ministries

Prayer Walking- Going to the neighborhoods close to our host and stopping at different houses evangelizing or encouraging those who already believe

Hospital- Praying over those in the hospital for both physical and spiritual health

Farming- Working at the orchard doing whatever needs to be done, could be weeding, praying over certain areas of the farm, or helping out in the kitchen

Dump- Sharing a message at the dump where many people work and then serving a meal

Micro-chruch- each team has a different micro-church they go to one night a week, ours is children’s ministry, but others are bible studies or youth group

Also, many of the photos I post may make it look like I’m just on vacation. Rest assured, I am not spending each day at the beach. It is out of respect for those we minister to that I don’t take pictures during ministry, so the only pictures I have are usually of food, sunsets, and our adventure days. 

Prayer Requests

1. Continued passion for the ministries we are doing, that I wouldn’t get bored with it but continue to find joy in all that we do
2. Guidance and wisdom as the logistics team and I prepare for our debrief in December
3. Strength and energy to continue translating and pressing into what the Spirit is prompting me to share